In this morning's press conference at Number Ten Chancellor of the Exchequer Gideon Osborne announced that the 0.5% drop in growth of the British economy would not push him off his cut deep and cut now course.
After a traditional nod to this all being the Labour Party's fault he pointed out that it had been pretty cold and that this would have an impact on growth not to mention the "big bad dog" that had snuck in from the North Sea and eaten some of the economic growth. The Navy were still searching for the Dog Gideon said but due to cutbacks only one, small rowing boat staffed by Sea Scouts could be spared.
"Everything will be OK" said Gideon "Once spring has sprung"
He dismissed rumours that Vince Cable was to be burnt in a large wicker man outside the House of Commons in order to help bring spring forwards as:
"Typical Labour spin."
Vince Cable was unavailable for comment.
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